Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Valentine's this year is not bad. OKAY I SOUR GRAPES.
Don't 'putoh' la!
But anyway, I met Vince04 and Emily at SMU today. Emily showed us around her school, and I found out that the school is quite impressive. They even got the best salesman in the world:
Come on! Buy a ticket from us, you'll feel good on Saturday.This freaking guy is bloody enthusiatic la. He's from ACJC and he's selling some tickets for his school's funfair. Yes, he actually said "Come on! Buy a ticket from us, you'll feel good on Saturday." AND WHAT THE HECK HAS BUYING A FUNFAIR TICKET GOT TO DO WITH US FEELING GOOD ON SATURDAY U TURBANATOR.We walked past him twice and he kept trying to persuade us to buy the tickets. Vincent 'dulan' until down there "BU YAO FAN WO LE!" ("don't disturb me anymore" in Mandarin).
But back to the main point: SMU. DAMN high tech la. Every door you go also need to "didi" the student card.
Er. No, it's not Ezlink.Then Emily left us for sanctification service, and we caught "I Not Stupid Too". BLOODY GOOD I SAY. Please support local shows, 'cause they are kan pua ho chio and sibei chor lor very realistic and relative to our daily life.On our way to the theatres along Orchard Road, there were millions of girls (and a handful of sissy guys) in uniform along the way that kept going "buy some flowers for your girlfriend!"
WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY DOING AT ORCHARD SELLING FLOWERS WHEN THEY SHOULD BE STUDYING! Vince04 and me got so irritated that we decided to come up with some antics to scare them away.
OIE! WANT TO BUY LIM BEI FLOWER ANOT?Therefore, inspired by the events of today, and to prepare all of you people for the onslaught along Orchard Road next Valentine's, I present to you How to Deter a Flowergirl in School Uniform From Selling you Roses on Valentine's Day!*Disclaimer*The following is inspired either by Vincent, or invented by myself. The responses by the flowergirls may be violent, e.g use their flower basket to "say" you, or call their gang members to whack you. Your safety is not guaranteed; try it at your own risk. And yes, we tried most of the below tricks on the flowergirls todays. Damn guai lan.1.) Say your girlfriend is allergic to flower. (Then got one idiotic flowergirl actually asked us to buy and put at her house. TMD THE SAME RIGHT? ALLERIGIC PUT AT HOME OR TAKE OUTSIDE ALSO WILL KENA RIGHT?)2.) Put on a damn sad/serious face and say you both just broke up. (Vincent tried this and guess what the flowergirl said? She said "THANK YOU". PEOPLE IF REALLY BREAK UP LIAO YOU THANK WHAT YOU? KIAM PA AH?)3.) In the case when it is a group date, grab a friend of the SAME sex and ask that friend in a damn gay/masculine voice if he/she wants a flower.4.) Put up your hand and say no need. (CHEY cliche!)5.) Shout a string of vulgarities at the top of your lungs. &^$&*$*^$!$^%%^$#^ (Heng Vincent never try this one)6.) Prepare a dead flower and ask the flowergirl if she wants to buy from you at double the price of whatever flower she is selling.7.) Ask them go back school and study for spelling.8.) Look at their school uniform and ask them for their name. Then ask them for their school's telephone number.9.) Bo hiew them.10.) 'Diao' a.k.a stare at the flowergirl. Works all the time.There you have it. They confirm siam you like Armaggedon will come once you buy their flower.CONFIRM.
kai-mmunist teachings 12:15 AM
